Dating a coworker can be fraught with professional fallout, uncomfortable situations, and even resentment. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. If handled with sensitivity and professionalism, it can be a wonderful thing—and can help you find your true love at work. The key is to really think it through, and not rush into anything that could be considered a “date” with a coworker unless you’re sure your intentions are clear.
If you’re serious about the relationship, ask yourself whether it’s really worth the potential drama or if you should consider finding someone outside of work. It’s also wise to check your company policies, as many companies forbid or require specific disclosures before pursuing a relationship with a colleague.
In a workplace where the lines between personal and professional lives aren’t clearly drawn, it can be easy to cross them—and in a way that will have serious consequences. Especially in the age of #MeToo, it’s best to avoid any kind of romantic involvement with your coworker unless it is totally consensual and appropriate.
Ideally, you should also keep your romance completely separate from the workplace. This means no public displays of affection (that goes for both flirting and actual kissing) at work, or sharing too many intimate details with your coworkers at the water cooler. Avoid over-the-top gushing about your new relationship, as well, as this can make people feel awkward and even threatened. This can be a particularly challenging rule to adhere to in an open floor plan office where everyone sees and hears everything.
It’s also not a good idea to date a supervisor or superior. This type of relationship can create an unfair power imbalance and isn’t in line with most company cultures. It can also lead to gossip and rumors that can have legal or ethical implications. Plus, you never know when a performance review may come up and you’ll need to be able to give an objective evaluation of that person.
You should always disclose your relationship to coworkers in a timely manner. Ideally, you’ll do so before the news spreads on social media or through other methods. This will help you avoid the situation where a coworker becomes suspicious and takes action, like making a complaint to HR or your manager.
One last thing: Be careful about texting or emailing your coworker at work, and don’t ever share confidential information that could be used against you in a court case for sexual harassment or Title VII violation. This is especially important if your company has a BYOD policy where employees can access company data on their phones or tablets.
In the end, while it’s possible to have a happy romantic relationship with a coworker, there are so many pitfalls to be aware of and be prepared for. It’s important to be as transparent and mature as possible and avoid actions that could be used against you if your relationship turns sour.